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Chelsea Clinton Finds Her Voice

March 31st, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton

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Chelsea Clinton and daddy Bill Clinton have really been practicing their lines, and lo and behold they are singing from the same hymn sheet.

On Friday, when asked at a campaign event in Pennsylvania who would be a better president , Bill or Hillary, the former first daughter said, “I don’t take anything for granted, but hopefully with Pennsylvania’s help, she will be our next president. And yes, I do think she’ll be a better president.”

But doesn’t that sound oh so similar to the mantra chanted repeatedly by Hillary Clinton’s husband, Bill of late?

But of course we mustn’t say anything derogatory about little Chelsea even though she has increased her involvement in mummy dearest’s presidential campaign, she apparently must be treated with kid gloves during the political free for all.

Wanting to keep our jobs after learning from the demise of David Schuster, an NBC News correspondent who was suspended for announcing that it was “weird” how the Clintons “pimped out Chelsea” when they made her call all those ladies from The View, we’ll leave it at that!

ABB

From The Catwalk to Oxfam:Kate Moss and Posh Spice Strut!

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From the sublime to the ridiculous and back again. That would appear to be the world of supermodels and would-be super models such as Kate Moss and Victoria Beckham.

One, who is actually a ‘supermodel’ struts the catwalks in beautiful gowns and outfits designed by Versace, Gucci and Alexander McQueen, looking every bit the beautiful young lady and in her personal life walks the streets of London looking like nothing more than a bag lady.

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Then there’s the proverbial clothes horse, Victoria Beckham, who never leaves home without painting on her now signature pout and squeezing into anything from the 12-18 month department at Mothercare.

Even with a new beau in her life Kate still doesn’t make the effort. Moss is currently on her 20th engagement to Jamie Hince, guitarist for The Kills since she dumped junkie Pete Doherty last summer.

Lets hope her wedding dress isn’t straight off the racks of Oxfam!

ABB

Kelly Osbourne Gives Lessons in Child Care!

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Forget Dr Phil, Dr Ruth or Dr Spock, we can now all learn from Dr Kelly Osbourne as she shares her thoughts on celebrity children. Because of course she has been ‘dragged’ up by the parents from hell and would know all about the difference between good and bad parenting.

Kelly spewed a few pearls for us all when she said, “I respect Gwyneth ­Paltrow because she covers her babies’ faces – she never lets the paparazzi get that picture. I’m not going to put the Spice Girls down, but they took their kids on stage at every single show of that last tour of theirs. To be a child of three and have 25,000 girls screaming at you – I don’t think that’s necessarily good.”

Shame her mother, Sharon Osbourne, hadn’t admired Gwyneth Paltorw’s desire to keep her baby’s face out of the spot light and put a ground sheet over Kelly’s face, at least until she turns 40 anyway!

ABB

Brad Pitt’s Family Grows Again!

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No kiddin’ Hills, Brad’s my bro!

Well, Barack Obama really does have some braggin rights now! Not only can he site Dick Chaney as his distant relative but he has now been linked to Brad Pitt through their family trees.

But the news is not all good in that direction for Barack as it now transpires that he may be related to not only Dick but George too. That would be George W Bush!

That’s not all though. As if things weren’t bad enough finding out you have Bush blood coursing through your veins, poor old Obama may also be related to Brad Pitt.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society have also established that Hillary Clinton may be related to Angelina Jolie along with being a distant cousin of Madonna, Céline Dion, Alanis Morissette and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.

Of course, not wanting to be left out of the mix, the Republican candidate, John McCain’s claims to be related to the Scottish King Robert the Bruce were revealed to be unfounded by British genealogists. However, the New England genealogists did find yet another Bush connection, McCain is a sixth cousin of the first lady, Laura Bush.

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So, in one foul swoop that has increased the Pitt-Jolie family without them even making a trip to Africa now having Obama as kin. It has led us to believe that Hillary Clinton maybe able to sing her way through life if she loses her bid for President and that John McCain has delusions of Royal grandeur that cant be substantiated!

Happy Voting America!

ABB

Hillary Clinton Needs a Tin Hat!

March 25th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain

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We all thought that John McCain would be the one to suffer memory loss or mental confussion being that he’s already in his 70’s but it seems Hillary Clinton has got there first!

So lets see, when was the last time you came under enemy fire? Its that hard to recall isn’t it? Unless of course if it never actually happened.

Loss of memory seems to be the most recent problem facing the former First Lady, Hillary Clinton. Did it happen or is she having a senior moment? You know the kind, when granddad tells you he was on at least six war ships that sank during the assault on Dunkirk in the 1940’s and in reality the only boat he has ever sunk is a gravy boat in the washing up water!

But for Hillary her recollections of being ‘under sniper fire’ in Bosnia must be coming back to haunt her now as she faces the relentless attacks by Barack Obama’s supporters as they make full speed ahead to torpedo Clinton’s bid for the White House.

ABB

George W Bush Fiddles While Rome Burns!

March 24th, 2008 | No Comments | Posted in Uncategorized

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While the death toll of American troops rose to an astounding 4,000 in the Iraqi war this Easter weekend, George W Bush took the opportunity to enjoy his weekend cuddled up with the Easter Bunny. How Presidential!

ABB

Can Clint Eastwood Revive his Magnum?

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Is there a shortage of hunky young actors in Hollywood these days or is it cheaper to employ a senior citizen?

Rumours are abounding that 77 year old Clint Eastwood is to revive the character of Harry Callahan in the title role as San Francisco Police Department Inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan in what would be the 6th Dirty Harry movie.

Following hard on the tail of Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis, who have both recently attempted CPR on their characters, Rocky Balboa the boxer and Detective John McClane in the Die Hard series of movies, Clint could be dusting off his old Magnum to be let loose on the punks of San Francisco.

So who will play the Oscar winning actor’s love interest in the new Dirty Harry. He was scrapping the barrel in The Bridges of Madison County, in his attempts to play a love struck senior with Meryl Streep and that was 13 years ago? Maybe he could tempt Shirley MacLaine, Elizabeth Taylor or even Angela Lansbury.

If the movie is made with a touch of tongue in cheek humour, it could work, but making Clint the cool, calculating villain chasing cop he was back in 1971, would just leave him a laughing stock anyway.

I guess this time around when he asks the question, ‘Did I fire six shots or only five,’ we can put the lack of memory down to senility and the ‘dirty’ label could be attributed to his need for incontinence pads!

Who knows, maybe we’ll see Sean Connery coming back as James Bond some time soon now that would be worth seeing!

ABB

Brad Pitt: And then there were 6!

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If reports are to be believed, and there’s many of them, the ‘Jolie-Pitt Family Singers’ will soon increase their number by two bringing the total babies in their household to 6! Angelina Jolie is having twins and they are fraternal, that means one boy one girl. So we wont have to see another set out there like the Olsen twins, Mary Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen.

Jolie wants to give birth to the babies in her mother’s homeland, France. (don’t they have free medical there too?)

Brad Pitt, and his partner with the growing waistline, have yet to confirm the pregnancy but given the change in her shape of late, its hard to keep it a secret.

Now all that remains for discussion is how much the couple will sell their ‘double trouble’ photos for?

ABB

Sex and the Hotty: Is It Kristen Davis or Is It Just Wishful Thinking!

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Its nothing new! Paris Hilton did it, Kim Kardashian did it, Pamela Anderson did it and now Kristen Davis has supposedly done it. What? Had ‘private sexapade’ photos/video leaked on to the internet.

Now we have to ask ourselves, is this just a stunt just in time to promote the up coming Sex and the City movie, due for release in May this year, is it an impersonator or is it the real deal?

Well, if the promoters were going to expose anyone Charlotte would be the best as we have pretty much already seen and heard all the sex we need from Samantha, aka, Kim Cattrall and Cynthia Nixon who plays Miranda on the show is apparently more into her own gender than either a gherkin or a man, and that just leaves the horsy faced Sarah Jessica Parker, you know, Carrie, the one who has already slept her way around Manhattan.

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Davis has reportedly denied all claims that she was featured in a sex tape. Her rep has stated that this is in no way Kristen Davis.

So he knows what Kristen looks like, in full swing, administering oral sex on the busy end of a gherkin?

Certainly looks a lot like Miss Prissy, Kristen Davis, getting her chops around one of those creamy cup cakes from the Magnolia Bakery!

ABB

Bank Job: A Brilliant Blunder!

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When the Brits make a film, they really make a film! Take Four Weddings and A Funeral with Hugh Grant, made on a shoe string but grossing millions at the box office. Then there was Nottinghill again with Hugh and his love interest Julia Roberts and the Full Monty starring Robert Carlyle. But now there’s an English nugget that shouldn’t be missed, Bank Job. If the Americans, and more precisely New Yorkers think they have a scandal unraveling before their very eyes in the misappropriate behaviour of ex Governor Eliot Spitzer, then take a look at what the British Royal Family, namely Princess Margaret, (Queen Elizabeth’s younger sister) and Lord Mountbatten, Prince Charles’s favourite uncle, got up to in the early 1970’s.

Add to the mix a group of amateur bank robbers who would make Del Boy (David Jason) and Rodney (Nicholas Lyndhurst) of Only Fools and Horse fame look professional, the sultry Mata Hari figure Martine, played by Saffron Burrows, and a government headed by Edward Heath, all of whom seem to be into the seedy sexy underworld that was on offer in London in that decade, and you have the mix for a perfect movie.

The would be robbers come across as more lucky than cunning, as they are conned into the ’job’ which is the UK’s biggest bank heist and is actually a ’cover up’ in the making by the government. The police are portrayed as complete incompetence, Government ministers are all perverts and the movie in general moves so fast as the story unfolds somewhat like a three dimensional chess game, with the all pieces moving among the different levels.

Known as the walkie talkie robbery the ‘job’ is to cleanout the vault at Lloyds Bank on Baker Street, London. With the band of merry men squawking on their walkie talkies the story became headline news only to be hushed up by top officials in MI5 and MI6 as the true reason behind the robbery is revealed.