Naomi Campbell Looking at a Sleeper Cell!

Does Naomi Campbell have a penchant for police, police stations, judges and prison cells?

After being charged, and pleading guilty, in 1998, to assaulting an assistant in Toronto, Canada, Campbell went before prosecutors but following her expression of remorse, was released without punishment or a criminal record. But her temper wasn’t dampened by the experience!

Again, being charged and pleading guilty once again, to throwing a cell phone at her maid in New York City back in 2007 and being ordered to do community service and attending a two-day anger-management program, one would have assumed Campbell would have caught on to the fact that being a celebrity doesn’t exempt you from the long arm of the law!

But once again, history repeated itself in the 38 year supermodel’s life when she was charged with assaulting two police officers during an alleged luggage rage incident at Heathrow Airport’s new terminal 5.

The Crown Prosecution Service said Campbell faced five charges consisting of, three counts of assaulting a constable, two counts of using threatening, abusive words or behavior to the cabin crew and one count of disorderly conduct.

The assault charges carry a maximum sentence of six months in prison and/or a fine of up to £5,000. The other charges are also punishable by a fine.

ABB

Davidioff Hasselhoff Goes all PVC Posh Spice!

What the hell is David Hasselhoff thinking of going public in a black PVC shirt, trousers, bling and sporting a hairstyle more suited to a friend of Ellen DeGeneres or Lindsay Lohan than a coast guarding hunk from Baywatch!

Is ‘Davidoff’ having a mid life crisis and the urge to look like Posh Spice or is it a sexual identity crisis?

Whatever it is he needs to sort it out. FAST!

ABB

Be Fat and Talentless and You’re Made! Mel B Shows How!

Look what having no talent but being in the right place at the right time can bring to your life! Mel B shows us all, with no fear of the camera invading her privacy either.

Its as good as getting those 6 numbers on the lottery when you have been a member of a 1990’s has been all girl band, The Spice Girls and then continue to con the world that you are creating albums worth buying!

During her second day on holiday in Miami, Scary Spice went pool side to provide onlookers with a show as she feasted on strawberries, pink champagne, salad, and completed her solo performance with a less than healthy cigarette.

Not only is Mel B attempting a solo music career but she is also trying her hand at a modeling career.

There is no justice in this world! There are truly talented, beautiful girls who attend R.A.D.A. and modeling schools running up massive grants and then a short tubby little talent less madam like Mel B runs away with idea that she can be the next top model or song bird!

Is there a Mad Spice, cos she can have the title!

But wait, is someone coming to our rescue and holding her under for the count of 100?

ABB

Kim Kardashian’s Memorial Day Revelation!

Even if her sense of humour could have resulted in Reggie Bush having a coronary, Kim Kardashian went right ahead and told reporters at her White Party in the Hamptons this weekend, “I’m about two months pregnant right now and we’re getting married on August 8th of 2008.”

But she was just showing her playful side which obviously was no where near as interesting to the gagging paps as if it had been the truth!

ABB

Indiana Jones: Finds the Crystal Skull but Loses the Plot!

Following the hysteria for the past month or two when we couldn’t surf the Internet without an ad appearing, turn on the TV without watching a trailer about the movie, it seemed only fitting that a first viewing, ever of an Indiana Jones movie should be on this weeks itinerary of things to do!

Never having taken time out over the past 19 years to see Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade a true movie experience should have been up for grabs in the guise of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Even without having the ‘eternal knowledge of the Crystal Skull of Akator‘, which is the quest of Cate Blanchett’s to acquire in the movie, it’s not difficult to see how Harrison Ford’s Henry Jones may be set to break box office records for this memorial day movie weekend but if that’s Indiana Jones, its just as well 19 years have laid dormant between me and this offing!

For those 19 years people have been trying to explain to me the excitement that is, Indiana Jones. Having now seen it, it was lost on me!

Obviously having seen excerpts from the three preceding Indiana movie, to be honest, it would have been hard to tell if the same scene had been cut into the latest film from movie mogul Steve Spielberg or if it was all new material.

From surviving a nuclear blast while hiding in a lead lined refrigerator to transversing a triple-decker Peruvian waterfall, which stood higher than the Sears Tower, the whole thing left me quite non-plus!

While appreciating the special effects, the scenery and the research that had been put into the movie, the actual script came across as very weak.

John Hurt, as he did in The Skeleton Key with Kate Hudson, had very few lines to learn and those he spoke came out mumbled and almost unrecognizable.

The choice Shia LaBeouf as the long lost son of Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams, was a weak choice. If he is set to take over the role of Indiana, (the son of,) the next archeologist as Ford did from Sean Connery, it wont work! He just doesn’t have the charisma and moodiness of Harrison Ford.

Cate Blanchett is brilliant in any role she takes on. Her performance as Queen Elizabeth I in Elizabeth the Golden Age was exceptional, in Notes on a Scandal with Judi Dench she excelled and once again in The Good German with George Clooney she showed yet another believable side to her acting talents. So it was no surprise to see her bring a modicum of Oscar style acting to her comical role as Colonial Irina Spalko of the KGB a Stalin favourite and three-time winner of the Order of Lenin.

As far as I can make out, from the little I have gleaned about Indiana, is that the main changes in this latest of the trilogy is that the aging archeologist is now being chased through Amazonian jungle terrain instead of the Himalayan mountains, his pursuers are the KGB as opposed to the Nazis, his side kick son has been introduced and Henry has shown a romantic side with has relationship with Karen Allen who plays his old flame Marion Ravenwood.

If the Indiana Jones franchise survives another 17 years, Indy, or his son, may find himself running next time not from the 1936 Nazis or the 1957 KGB but maybe he’ll have his work cut out taking on the Taliban in 2025!

ABB

Madonna Retruns to her Roots!

It must have been one of those jokes that everyone else was in on except Madonna and Sharon Stone. You know the kind, come in fancy dress, it’s a fancy dress party, and no one else wears fancy dress!!

Does the Daily Mail thinks its selling its news to people who are reading using Braille?

With a headline telling us that Madonna and Sharon Stone provide us with ‘a perfect example of how to age gracefully’, isn’t that an insult to any woman nearing, or already in her fifties.

If this is aging gracefully then the pair had better keep it in Europe because if those two walked into a bar in Manhattan they would get looks, nudges and quite possibly offers for paid sex.

Madonna, 49, has the most awful shade of peroxide plastered across her dry, frizzy hair and coupled with the grey roots its not a look any fifty year old would want to achieve. Maybe she should spend less time on the tread mill and a little more time with the hair salon!

Sharon Stone, 49, needs to seek the advice of a fashion guru who would more than likely advice her to put away the deep, plunging neckline and clinging dress that would probably only sell for a couple of dollars if offered for sale on Ebay!

Earlier in the week, Madonna, still trying to attain her 1980’s image, appeared in kinky boots and leather gloves but for the evening Madonna went for a Chanel black and white beaded gown with fringed sleeves and trim which clearly did nothing to advertise the normally chic style that has become synonymous with Chanel over the years when real ‘ladies’ such as Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis wore the designer.

No wonder the Material Girl’s husband, Guy Ritchie looked open mouthed stood with his millionaire wife (who cant afford to get her roots touched up!). Maybe he was suffering an extreme case of embarrassment and the need to tell all an sundry that she doesn’t always look this bad!

Stone was also in town to raise money at the AmFAR Cinema Against AIDS fundraiser, which auctions off items for an AIDS charity. Lest hope she doesn’t think her’s or Madonna’s dress will raise more than they would at a local charity store!

These two aging actresses should take a look, and a leaf out of the books of, some real aging beauties, Queen Noor of Jordan, 57, Jaclyn Smith, 59, and Olivia Newton John, 60.

However, the Daily Mail got it right when they accused the two of being, ‘blonde bombshells with oversexed images ‘ and having the combined age of 99 years. May be that should have read the combined fashion I.Q.

ABB

Michael Jackson Moonwalks to Las Vegas!

The latest piece of juicy information coming out of the beleaguered Michael Jackson camp is that he could be heading to Las Vegas, not to gamble on the slots but more to gamble on his future.

After recently having prevented foreclosure on his beloved Neverland Ranch, which nestles deep in the Californian valleys, it would appear that the self proclaimed King of Pop has already been taking gambles with his future by accepting cash to clear his mortgage arrears.

But where did the cash come from and what are the strings attached to it?

Well, a very caring group who call themselves Colony Capital, negotiated with the bailiffs and anyone else Jackson owed cash to, and it would seem tied him into a contract which should see him very soon performing at the Las Vegas Hilton, which they so conveniently own.

Now, these guys don’t come across as the type that would take kindly to any kind of double crossing, so unless Jackson doesn’t mind sporting a number of other prosthetic body parts in the near future, it may be advisable for him to start moon walking himself off to The Strip and getting some ticket sales safely under his belt.

With Jackson’s outstanding debt on Neverland calculated in the region of $25m (£12.5m) selling tickets at $200 a throw, doing 2 performances and a matinee per week should see him clearing the debt around…..the 12^th of never-land!

ABB

Jude Law Wants to Know, ‘Do You Think I’m Sexy?’

First we had Georgia Rule (Jane Fonda Movie) now we have Jude Law, which would appear to state. ‘if you cant be with the one you love, love the one you’re with’. And the one he was with when he felt like a bit of face sucking this weekend was, the talentless unattractive daughter of rocker, Rod Stewart, Kimberley Stewart.

Law and Stewart were spotted, of all places, in an Essex nightclub where punters had wrist bands to show they had paid to enter the flea pit or maybe it was tagging to make sure they didn’t leave.

No Hollywood night club or A-list party for Jude and Kim now a days, as the pair of them slip slowly into oblivion.

Given that Jude doesn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to wives, dating and girlfriends, putting him together with the daughter of two serial wedding fiends, Rod and Alana Stewart, doesn’t exactly instill confidence that this relationship will last longer than the exchange of body fluids and the two of them can hold their breath for a deep tongue kiss!

ABB

Indiana Jones and the Scathing Journalists: Harrison Ford Fights Back!

When you’ve escaped from The Temple of Doom, been a raider of The Lost Ark, returned from The Last Crusade and now successfully located the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, you’re really not the type of guy who is going to buckle under a few critics who have a downer on your latest offering!

That was completely the attitude of Harrison Ford as he took on a pack of journalists in Cannes this weekend who suggested that the movie was below par. Harrison cracked his whip, demanded attention and calmly, in Indiana Jones style, told reporters that he wasn’t phased by their opinions and that his customers were the people who pay at the box office to see his latest movie and they were obviously the judges of the movie’s success.

Obviously being a multi millionaire helps contribute to Ford’s lack of concern about newspaper and media pundits thought’s and opinions on Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!

ABB

The Kittens Will be out of the Bag on….? Angelina Jolie’s Twins!

Its official! Finally, in what seems like a never ending pregnancy, the world can now stop holding its breath in anticipation of the birth of the twins of the hallowed one, Angelina Jolie, as big mouth Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman revealed the secret of the date the twins will enter the world as, August 19^th (didn’t mention which year though!!!)

With Jolie’s waste expanding at a rate of knots its only natural that she would choose to wear something a little loose and comfortable, but a black and white floral table cloth?

So who, among Hollywood’s elite, now holds the secret as to what happened to Angelina’s fashion sense once she became 18 months pregnant?

ABB