Posh Spice Cant Concentrate in Flatties!

Didn’t we just report last month that Victoria Beckham says she cant concentrate when she isn’t wearing 5 inch high heels?

Well that theory is certainly born out as she clearly couldn’t concentrate on what to wear with her flatties! She must have grabbed David’s jeans in the rush to get out!

The normally well groomed, fashion plate, Posh Spice, who even turns up to ball games dressed to kill, let her guard down as she took her 4 children to Disneyland recently wearing a tatty black T, what appears to be size 12 jeans on her size 0 body and flatties which may have been used in Spartacus, the movie!

Four children? Yes, Cruz Beckham, Romeo Beckham, Brooklyn Beckham and David Beckham!

The rest of the family seem to be aware of what a tramp Victoria Beckham looks as ol’ Golden Balls bows his head, Cruz fakes narcolepsy and Romeo is hiding behind his dad! Brooklyn has escaped altogether!

It also appears that she finds her appetite difficult to concentrate on no matter where she is. The woman is a stick insect!

ABB

Catherine Zeta Jones: Diet or Liposuction?

Recent reports have pointed quite definitely at Catherine Zeta Jones, the wife of Iconic actor, Michael Douglas, having undergone a course of liposuction in order to regain her youthful curves.

But if her new movie, The Rebound is anything to go by, Jones really needn’t have bothered. Her character is a single parent living in New York City who catches the eye of her younger neighbor, portrayed by Justin Bartha.

With roles more suited to her age Miss Jones hardly needs to keep up appearances as she may have in the past when filling the roles of The Mask of Zorro, starring Antonio Banderas and the musical Chicago with Renée Zellweger.

With Catherine’s entire body now much slimmer, it’s not likely that Catherine had any cosmetic surgery to attain her new figure as the often fuller-figured actress has spoken out against Hollywood’s obsession with super-skinny girls, although she has now successfully achieved the look most highly coveted by women around the world. So a lack of food, rather than lipo is most likely behind Catherine’s recent thinness.

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Wham! George Michael Takes a Stand!

George Michael is the latest celebrity to hit back at the constant barrage of useless information that makes the front pages of the rag styled tabloids relating to celebrities and their lives.

George has an idea that it all amounts to propaganda on behalf of the government to keep the masses from reading about any relevant stories that may affect the world in general. In an interview on the South Bank Show, Michael stated, “In England I’ve probably had about 20 or 30 front pages in last two-and-a-half-years and what interests me is what else happened on those same days, and how much our government is getting away with day after day. It’s the perfect cover-up to every major story they don’t want us to hear: ‘What did Britney Spears do today? Where did George Michael fall asleep?’”

While he probably has a point, George is only pointing his finger at the morons who only have limited ability to read, never mind process such information, and have probably only ever seen The Times, The Observer, The Guardian and the Financial Times holding their greasy fish and chips and onion baji firmly in place!

So don’t fret too much George, the intelligent among us realize that most of the rubbish we read about you, and your new best friend, Britney Spears, is probably a load of old bull!

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Princess Eugenie Frolics Naked! Off With Her Head!

Following in the free spirited style of her mother, Sarah Ferguson, daughter Princess Beatrice, 18, was found romping naked in the grounds of her very expensive up market school, Marlborough College in Wiltshire, England.

Being sixth in line to the British throne certainly doesn’t play much importance in the life of the young Princess as she spent the evening drinking in a local pub only to return to her school with the urge to remove her clothes and frolic with her equally naked friends!

A source told the Sun newspaper, “It was a couple of weeks ago just before people started taking their A-levels and some find exams all a bit stressful. For some reason they stripped off and started prancing about It was light-hearted and they were sort of frolicking like nymphs. But they got too noisy and staff discovered them. They had to quickly pick up their clothes and hot-foot it inside.

Seems like this young Princess and grand daughter of Queen Elizabeth II is going to be supplying the media with many a good story for years to come!

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Pamela Anderson Goes Back to the Future with Tommy Lee!

Just ask Gordon Ramsay or Wolfgang Puck, a soufflé never rises twice!

As much as you cant pump the air back into a soufflé you cant claw back a relationship, especially in Hollywood as these two have proved hundreds of times before with their relationship rekindling attempts!

So the news that former Baywatch beauty, Pamela Anderson has reunited with her ex husband, and Motley Crew band member, Tommy Lee, whom she divorced in 1998, we can all expect to see a flat, pulpy mess laying all over Beverly Hills in the next few months!

Given the length of her last relationship, a marriage, to Rick Salomon, which lasted all of two months, the future doesn’t look very hopeful for a Lee/Anderson 30^th wedding anniversary in 2038!

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Play With Fire and You’ll Get Burnt! George Clooney Leaves Sarah Larson Devastated!

With a track record such as George Clooney’s, any girl with half the experience of Las Vegas cocktail waitress, Sarah Larson should have realized that pinning your future on becoming the next Mrs George Clooney (there was one other many years ago, for four years to actress Talia Balsam !) was like booking a return passage on the Titanic!

Known as Hollywood’s most notorious bachelor and having been named People magazine’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Sexiest Man Alive, twice, and having been romantically tied to a bevy of Hollywood beauties, Larson could only have been placing herself on a suicide mission thinking she could be the girl to tame Clooney!

A friend of the now red eyed Sarah told Fox News of Larson, “She thought they were getting married. Instead, she got dumped. She’s really upset. Devastated.”

After moving into Clooney’s L.A mansion, Larson must have believed she was really something special only to find that just as quickly as she unpacked her bags, she was packing them and heading back to her old crowd on the Las Vegas strip.

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Baby News from Jessica Alba and Cash Warren

The actress and Playboy cover girl, Jessica Alba, 27, can once again return to showing us all what a fantastic figure she has after giving birth this weekend to her long awaited baby girl, Honor Marie Warren.

After marrying Cash Warren, 29, in a very low key ceremony three weeks ago in the Beverly Hills courthouse, the happy couple greeted the arrival of their first baby at Los Angeles’ Cedars Sinai Medical Center on Saturday.

Congratulations to the new parents!

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