Oops… Britney’s Did It Again

I’m running out of headline ideas for all the shit this girl is up to. It looks like Britney ditched her deposition yesterday morning –the one where she’s supposed to give evidence as to why she should get to see her kids– with claims that she wasn’t feeling well. But Britney was seen that evening hanging out at the Four Seasons until 2:00am.

When asked why she missed the court date, Britney’s only response what to say that it was a cold. Her closest friends claim it’s anxiety. I claim it fuckup-itis. Either way, the court is now considering taking Brit’s visitations rights away completely… and maybe that’s what Miss Fuckup is shooting for. Can’t we just throw in the towel, acknowledge that she’s one messed up pop star, and move on to more interesting news? Though I have to admit, watching the total meltdown of America’s Pop Princess is rather fascinating.

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The Virgin Britney

Is it 1999? No, you haven’t traveled back in time to Miss Britney Spears’s heyday, when she spent entire interviews talking about saving her virginity for true love– a sad contrast to today’s Britney, giving her interviews to California court reporters. It seems that French movie producer Phillippe Rebboah is eyeballing Britney to play the Virgin Mary in what will turn out to be either a very strange or very stupid film.

The film is planned to begin shooting in March, and Britney is in the process of reviewing the script. If she accepts the role, she will be playing a 19 year-old woman in Bethlehem (Maryland) who goes into labor on Christmas Eve among rumors that her baby is the second coming of Jesus.

Then again, they seemed to think that about Britney herself when she was born. And, it seems, Britney still does.

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Britney Proves It: She is Entelligent

 

Uh, hi y’all. Listen. I’m real tired of you people talking about what I’m wearing and doing and how I’m raising my kids. Sean and, uh, Jason… oh, I mean Jayden, are good boys and they love their mama. They say “I want nanny, not you” a lot, but it’s, like, totally a fun game we play.

 

Anywayz. Dudes, I’m tired of y’all talking about me and calling me stupid and junk. I’m not stupid. So you know what I did? I dyed my hair. Yep, I did myself. It took me two hours and I stained all the pink bath rugs in my bathroom with black dots, but I did it. Now I’m still GORGEOUS but I have brown hair. And it’s dark brown, bitches. Almost black! And y’all know that girls with dark hair are intelligent. E-N-T-E-L-L-I-J-E-N-T. Intelligent.

Hell yeah.

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