Indiana Jones: Finds the Crystal Skull but Loses the Plot!

Following the hysteria for the past month or two when we couldn’t surf the Internet without an ad appearing, turn on the TV without watching a trailer about the movie, it seemed only fitting that a first viewing, ever of an Indiana Jones movie should be on this weeks itinerary of things to do!

Never having taken time out over the past 19 years to see Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade a true movie experience should have been up for grabs in the guise of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Even without having the ‘eternal knowledge of the Crystal Skull of Akator‘, which is the quest of Cate Blanchett’s to acquire in the movie, it’s not difficult to see how Harrison Ford’s Henry Jones may be set to break box office records for this memorial day movie weekend but if that’s Indiana Jones, its just as well 19 years have laid dormant between me and this offing!

For those 19 years people have been trying to explain to me the excitement that is, Indiana Jones. Having now seen it, it was lost on me!

Obviously having seen excerpts from the three preceding Indiana movie, to be honest, it would have been hard to tell if the same scene had been cut into the latest film from movie mogul Steve Spielberg or if it was all new material.

From surviving a nuclear blast while hiding in a lead lined refrigerator to transversing a triple-decker Peruvian waterfall, which stood higher than the Sears Tower, the whole thing left me quite non-plus!

While appreciating the special effects, the scenery and the research that had been put into the movie, the actual script came across as very weak.

John Hurt, as he did in The Skeleton Key with Kate Hudson, had very few lines to learn and those he spoke came out mumbled and almost unrecognizable.

The choice Shia LaBeouf as the long lost son of Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams, was a weak choice. If he is set to take over the role of Indiana, (the son of,) the next archeologist as Ford did from Sean Connery, it wont work! He just doesn’t have the charisma and moodiness of Harrison Ford.

Cate Blanchett is brilliant in any role she takes on. Her performance as Queen Elizabeth I in Elizabeth the Golden Age was exceptional, in Notes on a Scandal with Judi Dench she excelled and once again in The Good German with George Clooney she showed yet another believable side to her acting talents. So it was no surprise to see her bring a modicum of Oscar style acting to her comical role as Colonial Irina Spalko of the KGB a Stalin favourite and three-time winner of the Order of Lenin.

As far as I can make out, from the little I have gleaned about Indiana, is that the main changes in this latest of the trilogy is that the aging archeologist is now being chased through Amazonian jungle terrain instead of the Himalayan mountains, his pursuers are the KGB as opposed to the Nazis, his side kick son has been introduced and Henry has shown a romantic side with has relationship with Karen Allen who plays his old flame Marion Ravenwood.

If the Indiana Jones franchise survives another 17 years, Indy, or his son, may find himself running next time not from the 1936 Nazis or the 1957 KGB but maybe he’ll have his work cut out taking on the Taliban in 2025!

ABB

Can Clint Eastwood Revive his Magnum?

Is there a shortage of hunky young actors in Hollywood these days or is it cheaper to employ a senior citizen?

Rumours are abounding that 77 year old Clint Eastwood is to revive the character of Harry Callahan in the title role as San Francisco Police Department Inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan in what would be the 6^th Dirty Harry movie.

Following hard on the tail of Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis, who have both recently attempted CPR on their characters, Rocky Balboa the boxer and Detective John McClane in the Die Hard series of movies, Clint could be dusting off his old Magnum to be let loose on the punks of San Francisco.

So who will play the Oscar winning actor’s love interest in the new Dirty Harry. He was scrapping the barrel in The Bridges of Madison County, in his attempts to play a love struck senior with Meryl Streep and that was 13 years ago? Maybe he could tempt Shirley MacLaine, Elizabeth Taylor or even Angela Lansbury.

If the movie is made with a touch of tongue in cheek humour, it could work, but making Clint the cool, calculating villain chasing cop he was back in 1971, would just leave him a laughing stock anyway.

I guess this time around when he asks the question, ‘Did I fire six shots or only five,’ we can put the lack of memory down to senility and the ‘dirty’ label could be attributed to his need for incontinence pads!

Who knows, maybe we’ll see Sean Connery coming back as James Bond some time soon now that would be worth seeing!

ABB